British summertime is oh-so glorious. Sweltering sunshine, countless hours spent in beer gardens nursing warm ciders, endless discussions about how it may or may not be true that this summer will be the hottest on record for years (remember that one of 1983?) But seriously, apparently this one’s going to be REALLY hot. Anyway, here’s our pick of buzzwords and phrases for the British summer.
1) ‘Is it t-shirt weather?’
You find yourself in a never-ending loop of discussion about whether the jumper/hoodie/jacket is necessary. Most will have a predetermined temperature in mind as the cut-off point for ‘t-shirt weather’, usually about 18°.
2) ‘I really fancy an ice cream.’
It doesn’t matter what time of day it is. It could be 6 in the morning. If the sun is out, you crave an ice cream. It’s acceptable to drop just about anything to satisfy the desire for frozen comfort.
3) ‘My phone says it’s 27 degrees outside?!?’
Once said, your phone must be held up and pointed at so that everyone knows that this is not some kind of twisted joke. It would be far easier to just go outside and experience the warmth, but no, the Brit prefers to observe it from a safe distance.
4) ‘Let’s go and sit in a park somewhere.’
Always such a great idea at conception. When it comes to it, though, you realise that actually there’s not that many open, green spaces in London to hang out. You end up with 10 square metres of personal space next to the kids’ climbing frame on the local common.
5) ‘I prefer it when it’s not too hot.’
No sooner has it reached the required temperature than suddenly it becomes uncomfortably warm. ‘Uncomfortable’ is anything above about 26°, or any temperature at which socks become a constant torture.
6) ‘I’ll do a BBQ.’
This one’s so obvious I’m almost feeling apologetic whilst writing it, but I have to report the truth. The quintessential Brit will offer to host the BBQ, but other than make fire and offer out burger buns will actually do very little.
7) ‘Let’s go for a drink after work?’
It’s a Monday. You have no money. The sun’s out. First round’s on you, then.
8) ‘Apparently, it’s going to be like this until Sunday!’
No-one ever quite knows who/where you got your info from, but you’re probably wrong. Optimistically, you’ll promise everyone that the next few days will be boiling hot and that they can enjoy days of sun-drenched paradise. In reality, it will pour with rain tomorrow.