Now the night tube’s launched, a whole new carriage of nocturnal passengers await you on your late journey home…
1. The night shift worker
We commend the people whose sleeping patterns are against the general tide of London. As they make their way home at 4am, bleary eyed after a long hospital shift and surrounded by other bleary eyed (but drunk and smelly) people, they have to keep telling themselves – it still beats a rammed rush hour commute.
2. The pissed couple
These two have spent their anniversary dinner at the Duck and Waffle and, after a lot of wine and heated discussions about who puts enough effort into their relationship, you’re now having to witness their whisper-shout fight. You’re momentary thankful to be single, but still suspect that this fight will become a rumble around in the bedroom. But you don’t like sharing your bed anyway…
3. The unfazed older rider
This guy’s seen it all. Literally nothing can shock him. Not even the 20-something boozer leant up against the window with his trousers slightly unzipped as continues to serenade the central pole with his own rendition of Enrique Iglesias’s ‘Hero’. Well it is a classic.
4. The Snoozer
This guy fell asleep at 4am and has since woken up at Walthamstow… twice… only to be eventually greeted by the first wave of morning commuters.
5. The Midnight Feaster
The girl who had a big night on Friday, slept all day Saturday and only woke up gone 11pm. And when she woke up, boy was she hungry. A 24 hour Maccies was definitely in order. And, yes, she did get nuggets and a cheeseburger and mozzarella sticks. And, yes, she will eat it all in the time it take her to get from Victoria to Stockwell. And, no, you shouldn’t judge her.
6. The Horny Sexter
If you see anyone with a part-excited, part-desperate smirk as they look down on their phone (trying their hardest to stay connected to the Underground wifi for long enough to send their next filthy text), they’re almost certainly about to get their fill of late-night spontaneous lovin’.
7. The Drake Fan
The guy that apparently doesn’t own a pair of personal headphones, but instead inflicts his love of Drake upon the whole carriage (so, just you). Nothing on Drake. It’s this guy’s constant lip-syncing that offends you the most.
8. The Flagging Stag
There’s always one that falls behind. He’s trying to look composed, now in the bright light of the tube carriage, however, he’s forgotten that the pair of pink fluffy handcuffs are still attached to his wrists.
Featured image credit: Bruno Garcez | Flickr