There are only a few things in life that really get my goat. Number 38 is one of them. Join me comrades, as we countdown 60 thoughts that are guaranteed to have popped into your head at some point on your morning commute. P.S. If you are yet to try the Strawberry Laces hand sanitiser, I highly recommend it.
1. Please get out of my way.
2. Why are you standing on the left.
3. Why are you standing on the right but stretching out so much you may as well be standing on the left.
4. I wonder how many germs are on this hand rail.
5. Did i pack my hand sanitiser today?
6. Oh god, please say I did.
7. That guy deffo just sneezed and touched.
8. Why do people do that??
9. Is it any wonder we get colds all the time??
10. How much hand sanitiser is too much?
12. Now everything smells like strawberry laces.
13. If I have to cuddle up to ONE MORE PERSON ON THE CENTRAL LINE.
14. Ooh actually you smell quite nice.
15. Bleurgh hair in mouth, hair in mouth.
16. EWWWW IT’S NOT MY HAIR.
17. Seriously, you’re going to stretch your legs out.
18. This carriage is full sir.
19. You look like a dick.
20. If I have to climb over ONE more set of appendages this morning…
21. I should really position myself better in the carriage.
22. Now i have to wade through all these people to get to my exit.
23. Listen pal, I don’t like this any more than you do.
24. But you don’t have to shove me, ow.
25. Ah, here’s a street performer.
26. Oh look, she’s playing the flute with her nose.
27. Now that’s a talent.
28. Where’s my liiiiiiiiiine.
29. I do this everyday why is it still so hard??
30. Ooh I found it.
31. Okay that was close.
32. I nearly stepped over the yellow line.
33. Omg did she just eyeroll me?!
34. Bish wut.
35. Okay, let me on though.
36. No seriously LET ME THROUGH.
37. Oh. My. God.
38. Who doesn’t use deodorant in this day and age???
39. There should be a rule.
40. A compulsory, has-to-be-applied-on-pain-of-death RULE.
41. Ok i need to get out.
42. Please let me through.
43. Let me throughhhhhhh.
44. No i cannot fit in that tiny gap, I ain’t Tinkerbell.
45. Aaaaand I’ve missed my stop.
46. Seriously do we have to be this close??
47. You’re literally breathing into my ear canal.
48. I wouldn’t even let a boyfriend do that.
49. Oops, I’ve made eye contact.
50. Look away, look away.
51. Wait I can get off here!
52. WHERE DID I PUT MY CARD.
53. It was right here???
54. Someone’s definitely mugged me.
55. What kind of lowlife scumbag-
56. Oh here it is!
57. Thank goodness that’s over.
58. Until i have to do it later.
59. Maybe I should just cycle.