5 Saucy Sex Spots In London That Won’t Get You Thrown In Jail

Dear residents of London, sometimes when we get that itch we just can’t wait to scratch until we get home. And the recent video of a couple having sex at Liverpool Street is a clear example of why that is NEVER a good idea (Women! Children!) Here are some suggestions of where to go when you have the urge to splurge…

 

1. The Corfu Suites at the Blake Hotel, Roland Gardens.

Named “Sexiest Bedroom In The World” by boutique hotel specialists Mr and Mrs Smith, this regal looking room boasts opulent silks, seductive lighting and a four poster for grabbing onto à la Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn (not quite like Edward. Damages will be charged.) The hotel itself suggests packing ‘nothing practical’ so perhaps this is the time to try out your more dignified and imperial fantasies…

 

2. The Crazy Bear, Fitzrovia.

If Moulin Rouge is your idea of serious fun and you don’t mind splashing a bit of cash then look no further than The Crazy Bear. This extremely decadent chain of hotels specialises in the fancy, from the pan-Asian cuisine to the after-dinner cocktails. Each suite is individually designed with sensual splendour in mind so if you’re using strawberries and whipped cream mind the chinoise chair covers.

 

3. The W Hotel, Leicester Square.

Achingly cool and full of toys (not that kind), the W hotel offers a service of selective vinyl to be delivered to your room, has four person Jacuzzis and Pez dispensers in the mini bar (!!!). If you’re willing to up the excitement factor, some of the floor-to-ceiling windows look out onto China Town’s busiest street…

 

4. The Portobello, Notting Hill.

If you’re looking to get jiggy in the same place as Twiggy (DISCLAIMER: we cannot confirm or deny this) then head to The Portobello. This celeb hotspot is favoured for its Victorian baths (Kate Moss and Johhny Depp once allegedly filled one with champagne, as you do), vintage décor and quirky charm. Their heart-shaped beds look out over a private rose garden, all in all creating a very amorous ambience.

 

5. The Dungeon, Chingford.

Saving the best til last, this one is not for the faint hearted. Here you can let your wildest, most kinkiest dreams come to life with the help of chains, whips, cages and even a giant spiders web (that’s one fly on the wall scenario I’d rather miss). You can hire it out for individual use or special arrangements can land you an experienced dominatrix. Oh and there’s also a kitchen and bathroom for when your more domesticated needs arise.