Okay, we’ll hold our hands up. We haven’t been able to track down anything as good as New York City’s Black Tap monster milkshakes (pictured above) – although Molly Bakes’ Freakshakes certainly give them a run for their money. Dare we say, we’re almost glad we haven’t (that much sugar in one go would turn us into a bunch of hyper toddlers – and that’s no fun for anyone). You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy a good milkshake though and you DEFINITELY shouldn’t be a minor if you’re sipping on one of these bad boys. Introducing, the ‘Hard Shake‘. It’s a milkshake with lashings (and more lashings) of alcohol and it works for us. Soo mature.
1. The Love Shake, Shoreditch
This tiny diner in Shoreditch not only exudes a quintessential retro atmosphere but delivers some of London’s best boozy milkshakes (made with either organic or Soya milk). Flavours include the “Oreeto” (Amaretto & Oreo Cookie), “The Old Bailey” (two shots of baileys) and the signature “Mars Attack” (bourbon, peanut butter, toffee and chocolate)!
5 Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA
2. MEATmarket, Covent Garden
Despite being more famous for its burgers (the name may have given the game away) and its unapologetically decadent menu, their milkshakes are also pretty darn good. The ‘Maple Bourbon’ consists of maple syrup, bourbon and vanilla (again, the name says it all), while the Banoffee Hi contains Pisang Ambon and caramel. There is also the Jagermeister…we assume for those that like their shakes really, really hard.
The Deck, Jubliee Market Hall, Tavistock St, WC2E 8BE
3. The Riding House Cafe, Oxford Circus
With a slightly different vibe to the others (ie. it’s not a burger shack/an American diner), this modern all-day brasserie proves that you don’t need a jukebox to shake things up. With an insane cocktail list, the milkshakes are summin’ else. Try the The Toblerone, which is a mix of Baileys, Frangelico, Kahula, honey and chocolate for a seriously moreish treat (we suggest you skip dessert for this one).
43-51 Great Titchfield St, W1W 7PQ
4. Blues Kitchen, Various Locations
Either choose from your standard flavours (vanilla, chocolate and strawberry) and then pick your very own choice of liquor to really spice things up, or go for the full on hard shakes such as the Banana Foster (banana shake, toffee sauce, whipped cream, caramelised pecans, biscuit pieces, cinnamon & bourbon). At £8 a pop, the real deals aren’t cheap, but boy are they worth it.
5. The Diner, Various Locations
With 8 flavours on offer – and all equally as delicious – this is perhaps boozey milkshake heaven. From a Strawberry Cheesecake (Cognac, Galliano and strawberry ice cream) to a Pina Colada (Coconut ice cream, pineapple and East London Liquor Co. rum) – there is a dessert replacement (or addition) for everyone!
And in case you clicked on this seeking some food porn, here you are, sugar-freaks, knock yourselves out: