It’s around 6pm on a Sunday evening and you haven’t got dressed yet. You also haven’t showered, done the washing, the food shopping, made tomorrow’s lunch or done anything you told yourself you’d do. And now the realisation kicks in…
1. F**k – it’s Sunday.
2. Which means tomorrow’s Monday…
3. What happened to the weekend?
4. Wine. That’s what happened.
5. I shouldn’t have drunk so much.
6. I’ll never drink again…
7. … Weeeeelll, at least not until Tuesday…
8. That’ll speed up the week a bit.
9. At least The Great Sport Relief Bake Off is on Wednesday.
10. How many more episodes can I stream on Netflix this evening?
11. I should probably get an early night…
12. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight.
13. How do I deal with Monday when I haven’t slept?
14. I’ve eaten so much crap this weekend. *Reaches for the box of Heroes*
15. I’ll starve myself next week and only eat celery.
16. And I’ll go to the gym every day, deffs.
17. I haven’t washed my gym stuff.
18. I’ll just do some light yoga in my PJs *gets up to lie on floor*
19. Nope. Not moving.
20. Tomorrow’s a new week, fresh start, new fit healthy me. No point doing anything now.
21. But what if I’m too tired tomorrow?
22. Do I even like my job? Maybe I should quit?!
23. I knew I should have pursued my career as an actor.
24. *flicks through Instagram* How does she make money from taking pictures of avo-toast?
25. Does she even take those pictures herself?
26. I’ll ‘follow’ her though, for body motivation. It’ll make me go to the gym.
27. That salad looks nice – I’ll make that for lunch sometime this week. Where can I get some sprouting wheat…
28. Actually, I better make packed lunches all week.
29. … I’m too poor to live like that.
30. Now what can I make from a jam, eggs and half a bottle of wine…?
31. Fine, I’ll treat myself to lunch tomorrow…
32. Then it’ll be salads for the rest of the week.
33. Would anyone notice if I didn’t wear a bra tomorrow?
34. Why don’t we live in a society that isn’t so appearance oriented?! Why aren’t we all dancing around naked, happy, free and without judgement?! Why do I allow myself to care?! Why is life so materialistic?! Why aren’t they’re any more Wispas left?!
35. I should probably shower.