Commuting into London is a necessary evil but MY GOD the evil aspect is certainly a prominent one. All that money you’re saving on living costs may be going towards more therapy session (read:wine) than you’d like but it’s not all bad is it? IS IT?!
1. If you drive, you meticulously plan where to park your car at the station for minimal searching time.
2. And always try to park in the shade but AWAY from the pigeon-bum danger zone.
3. Printing your tickets off becomes a choreography of impeccable grace.
4. Until someone searches around for their Ticket Reference.
5. And then you can’t help but seethe at their incompetence.
6. The station is always cold. Always.
7. Even in the waiting room. In summer.
8. You become familiar with your fellow station dwellers.
9. But at most you’ll smile meekly and garble something about it being ‘nippy’ today.
10. Anything sold in The Pumpkin café is overpriced and not worth it.
11. Except maybe all the coffee. Because god knows, you’ll need it.
12. Especially with First Great Western’s abysmal track record.
13. Opening the door is either a push of a button or a desperate wrestle with a stiff handle.
14. You become an expert in ‘The Stance’ when there are no seats free.
15. And sometimes you worry about your resulting posture because of it.
16. Reading whilst standing up becomes something of an Olympic event.
17. Reading a newspaper? Good luck with that.
18. You’ve accidentally (on purpose) snooped on many peoples private text messages.
19. And had to cover up your laughter with many an unconvincing snort.
20. You’ll fall in love with someone new every journey.
21. And proceed to fantasise for the next hour and a half about having a Brief Encounter moment.
22. Random animals are known to stop the trains whenever they please.
23. And by now, you just don’t care.
24. Because anything is better than a bus replacement service.
25. You spend 1/3 of your journey questioning the point of a Victorian-esque class system.
26. And secretly wonder what it’s like up there.
27. You regularly face standoffs with the refreshments lady because you’re sitting in her ‘space’.
28. And guilty hand over £1.50 for a packet of Walkers (NEVER CHEESE AND ONION).
29. Opening and closing of windows is A. Big. Deal.
30. Get it wrong, you’re an asshole. Get it right, well, you’re a bit less sticky.
31. You consider the possibilities of ticket jumping far too often.
32. Because how can we pay so much and yet not get checked at all????
33. But it’s all worth it in the end.
34. Because you’re paying wayyyyyyyyy less to live outside London.
35. And at the end of the day, that’s all we care about.
(Um, but don’t we still live in one of the worst economic climates of our time?)
Featured Image Credit: Flickr: Marc Collins