3 Reasons Why Selfie Stick People Are The Worst Kind of People

Tom Livingstone Tom Livingstone

3 Reasons Why Selfie Stick People Are The Worst Kind of People

It’s a big claim I know. But there’s weight behind it, with Wimbledon being the latest big name to ban the evil contraption from their venue. Following in the footsteps of Tottenham Hotspur and The National Gallery, Wimbledon’s official stated reason for the boycott is ‘nuisance value’, although ‘common sense’ might have also sufficed. If you’re unconvinced by arguments that the pic-pole is the worst invention since unsliced bread, let me just give you a few pointers to make you a bit more selfieconscious.


1) Nuisance Value


‘Oh hey there, mind while I just poke your eye out so that I can take this entirely natural photo of me and my 17 friends for Instagram?’ I’m not sure whether it’s just a touristy thing, but the selfie spear has the ingrained ability to stop its owners in the most inconvenient places possible, like a pet that’s never been trained not to wee on people’s sofas. That’s a nice fountain sure, but it happens to be on one of the busiest walkways of Oxford Circus. Of course, that photo of you guys heading down the escalator at rush hour will look great, but do you need to hold up the entire station?


2) Fashion


To me, the selfie stick is the fashion equivalent of a fanny pack. It can’t possibly look cool. It’s like anti-fashion. Any arguments of it being quirky or alternative are negated by the fact that it’s just so awful. No, It’s about as trendy as a Jim’ll Fix It Badge (trendiness rating -100). I can’t even imagine trying to compute a selfie stick and a fanny pack all in one image – do people actually do that?


3) Selfie Beach

Beach selfie
[Faux Fringe]
Hundreds, no thousands of beach selfies are now flying off the selfie production line thanks to the shtick (no typo). It may look like an untouched beach in Thailand where none have gone before, but trust me, thousands of bikini selfies have been staged in the exact spot where you’re standing. It’s not going to inspire those at home in London when you upload it. All the twit stick will do is to give you a chance to show off more your cleavage/pecs from an arm’s length (is that even the beach in the background? I can’t see it over your ego).

Unfortunately, I’m running out of words, so I’ve had to limit myself to the top 3 arguments against the selfie-obsession stick. The main factor I’ve missed off? Human decency. I guess it falls into Wimbledon’s ‘nuisance value’ argument, but have some respect for yourself, if not others, and leave the tw*t twig at home (or in the bin).


Tags: fun, funny, humour
Things To Do