Lent starts today. That means you’re one day closer to getting your Percy and Penny Easter Pig from M&S, but it also means you’re one day into the start of a 6 week struggle of some sort of fasting, forbearance or frugality. Here’s some ideas on what you could give up this year…
2. Just kidding, Londoners are made of cheese.
3. Complaining about your commute.
4. Everyone has a shit commute. It’s London.
@dan_down Leave early you will not be late next time. Hope this helps
— London Overground (@LDNOverground) 4 April 2014
5. Complaining about past Tube Strikes.
I don’t think I can be in more people’s personal space even if I tried. #TubeStrike
— Rob Bunce (@Garvaos) 9 January 2017
6. Just let it go (let it gooo).
— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) 9 January 2017
7. Complaining about the weather.
Deep this rain? England bruv you love to play with emotions I only popped tesco now I’m stuck here
— Mouna (@markmouna) 7 June 2016
8. Talking about the weather.
— Fucking Weather (@BollocksWeather) February 22, 2017
9. Going outside.
10. Spending more than £3 on a latte, anytime, anywhere.
Taken my family to wanky London coffee shop and they are NOT on board with the seating arrangement pic.twitter.com/YqlZCelPx6
— Sophie Gadd (@sophie_gadd) 20 December 2015
11. Don’t give up coffee though. No-one wants to see that.
Amazing! Photographer captures rare moment of a Londoner being born. pic.twitter.com/JT1Ck5Btgv
— Andrew Blakeley (@ABlakeley) 4 March 2015
12. Uber-ing to a Tube Station to then get a tube.
13. Telling people off with your eyes.
14. This doesn’t work. Only signs work.
— Handpicked London (@LDN) 3 September 2015
15. Staying up really late for absolutely no reason and feeling shit the next day.
This guy on my train won’t stop staring at me. He must follow me… pic.twitter.com/PH3ioCYNdA
— JB™ (@gunnerpunner) 7 January 2016
16. You don’t need to watch another Come Dine With Me. Just go to bed.
17. Going to the same pub week in, week out.
18. Any sort of fancy dress.
Birthday Party starts at midnight. Dress accordingly – no trump masks!! pm St Peter for guestlist x
— Jesus Christ (@MrJChrist) 24 December 2016
19. Being a sarcy Londoner.
Charlotte is getting deported by David Cameron. pic.twitter.com/YlRHj4b36p
— Joshua Dixon (@JoshDixonTweets) 18 January 2016
20. Being a sarcy Londoner at work.
@SomCena Hi Sam, you can have a free milkshake when Arsenal win the Champions League, so basically you’re never getting one. – Mike
— Tesco (@Tesco) 3 August 2015
21. Though exceptions can be made for sarcy Londoners in life threatening situations.
— NPAS London (@NPASLondon) 7 July 2014
23. Who needs chocolate when you have chocolate crumpets? Mwahahha.
24. Complaining about London.
25. Making any sort of joke relating to house prices.
— Kevin Basham (@KevinBasham) 20 August 2016
26. It hurts too much, now.
Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London.
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) 18 October 2015
whoever brings me mcdonald’s gets into heaven
— Jesus Christ (@MrJChrist) 19 February 2017