London. A city for the young, wild and free. A place to realise your dreams, work hard and play harder and live out your youth to the full. Until one day, when you decide to move away from the busy rush to settle down, have early nights and your own vegetable patch. Wait, one day? As in…the FUTURE? Nah mate, this is what all the twenty-something grandma’s and grandpa’s are about NOW! Bring onnnn tea in bed at 7pm on a Saturday! Age is just a number, baby.
1. You are endlessly swamped with guilt because although you live in one of the best cities in the world, you spend your weekends in your slippers with a cuppa.
2. Although that’s not to say you don’t try…it’s just that you’re like “I could go out, or I could catch up on my laundry and Golden Girls boxset instead…”
3. You are always slightly in awe of the business women on the tube still wearing their heels.
4. You’ve got that one perfect friend who first said those three words that every single one of us has wanted to hear since moving to a city with a different pop-up opening every week…
5. “Let’s stay in”.
6. When you do finally go out, you start nodding off and dreaming of pjs as soon as Big Ben strikes 12…
7. No matter where you are.
8. Even in Fabric.
9. When you have people over for pre-drinks, you organise and spread of Ryvita and dips, fruit and some other various assorted treats…a cheese board perhaps.
10. And often don’t make it out after.
11. You constantly receive funny looks on the tube due to the fact that you still use an actual iPod.
12. And you can’t help but feel jilted when someone doesn’t offer their seat to you but does to an older person.
13. Because, y’know…you’re tired too!
14. For birthdays and Christmases you tend to ask for crockery, kitchenware or homeware…
15. And it’s not just because you can no longer keep up with London’s quirky fashion trends.
16. You singlehandedly keep London’s knitting, embroidery and tea industry afloat.
17. And you’re always at work first because you love going to bed at 10pm.
18. You find London’s hustle and bustle exhausting…especially commutes…
19. But you stay because it has some of the best independent coffee and cake shops…
20. Because you can live a life vicariously through your flatmates crazy enough to keep you feeling content with your quiet lifestyle…
21. And because it’s so expensive, you couldn’t afford to do anything BUT stay in with a cuppa…what. a. shame.
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