Us Londoners, we want for nothing really. We are easily pleased and happy with our lot…lol, jk, good one. Sorry, couldn’t keep a straight face there. Ok, so maybe we can be a little teensy weensy bit demanding (although, in our eyes, money growing on trees is not a big ask…) but there are some things that every Londoner secretly wishes for on a daily basis. And no, it’s not an attitude makeover thanks very much. Pr*ck.
1. For there to be a dog on the tube every day.
2. For the words ‘severe delays’ or ‘part closures’ to be banned forever.
3. To stumble across yourself on ‘Rush Hour Crush’.
4. To be that person who gets the free coffee at Pret (and not because they forgot to charge you like last time…when they chased you down the street and you had to come back and pay for it…)
5. For it to be hot and sunny.
6. Except when you’re at work, on the tube, or in a rush.
7. For the Oyster card reader on the bus not to be working. HELLO FREE RIDE.
8. To stumble across a stray dog to take home and adopt.
9. To meet a potential lover in a ‘real life situation’ as opposed to through a series of microchips and aggressive hand movements. (Not those sort of hand movements, naughty).
10. For Mr. Leg Spread to rip his trousers.
11. For a ‘Food Baby On Board’ badge to be released.
12. Permission to punch anyone who calls it ‘Landan’/has loud music on the tube/stops in the middle of the walkway.
13. Compensation from TfL for high blood pressure.
14. A cure for hangovers.
15. Or for hangovers to be a recognised as a reason not to have to go to work.
16. For the person who held open the doors and delayed everybody to have to wear the tube hat of shame the rest of their journey.
17. Which is a hybrid of a dunce hat and Boris Johnson’s hairstyle.
18. And for a medal every time you arrive at the platform just as the train pulls in.
19. And although we complain…constantly…
20. We will always secretly wish…
21. TO NEVER HAVE TO LIVE ANYWHERE ELSE!
Featured Image Credit: Behance