You’d imagine that London is the perfect hideaway for any timid Timothy that prefers being part of the crowd. There are approximately 9 million people that live here, after all. So yes, you’d think that wallflower status would be a given. But it so happens that no matter how much eye contact can be averted, or the number of books available to hide behind on the tube…there are still some seriously significant struggles of being shy in London. It’s not your fault that you’re not a people person…in a city with lots of people…
1. You’d prefer to live alone, but you can’t afford it. Obviously.
2. Making the no-privacy 7-bed flat share you’ve had to endure a living hell.
3. And you’ve got little hope of moving out anytime soon because you’re terrible at job interviews.
4. Work colleagues who don’t know you think you’re either stuck up or have no idea what’s going on.
5. Networking brings you out in a rash.
6. So does public speaking.
7. You’d rather stare at the floor for the entirety of a 45 minute tube journey than risk catching anyone’s eye.
8. And you could have a broken leg and a perforated stomach ulcer and you still wouldn’t ask someone to move their bag from a seat.
9. You don’t understand how anyone could make small talk ever.
10. And you’re upset because you thought London meant small talk didn’t happen. But it does.
11. It’s dangerous for you to go to Oxford Circus on a Saturday owing to risk of being trampled to death.
12. Turning up late to anything actually gives you heart palpitations.
13. You time leaving work/parties/a meeting so that you don’t have to walk/take the tube/risk awkward silences with anyone.
14. Even if that means staying late.
15. This is one of life’s most fundamental questions.
16. You try to become social at times – mainly to appear “fun” and “happy”.
17. But even little things like ordering takeaway on the phone is scary.
18. So instead you end up looking like this.
19. Uber is your favourite app of all time, because it means you don’t have to speak once. Not even to give your postcode.
20. Tears well up when faced with the prospect of having to avoid a street fundraiser. Which is why you give so much money to charity.
21. You hold the nickname “Chatterbox”. Because your London friends are hilarious.
Featured Image Credit: Kingston