21 Ridiculous Excuses That Only Work In London

Excuses, excuses.

Living in a city that forces us to take out a mortgage if we want to buy a cocktail also means that, on the flip side, we have totally legitimate reasons to make slightly ridiculous excuses for our behaviour…

1. ‘Sorry I cant come, I don’t go within 100 feet of Oxford Street.’

2. ‘Nah not going out tonight mate… I’m hungover from brunch.’

3. ‘Sorry I’m late – there was a tube strike!’

4. ‘Sorry I’m late again – another tube strike!’

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5. ‘You live in Ealing and I live in Leytonstone. I’ve done long distance before and this isn’t going to work out.’

6. ‘I know I’m late (again) but I had to wait for the Uber surge to drop.’

7. ‘I can handle my money! It’s not my fault one drink cost £9.95.’

8. ‘I know this coat made purely from moulted cat hair seems like an impulse buy but it was a one day pop-up stall and I couldn’t handle the FOMO.’

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9. ‘Shit! Have to go! My estate agent is showing me a studio flat in Mile End for £600 a month – IT HAS A DISHWASHER!!’

10. ‘No I don’t have allergies. I’m crying because I just spent £7 on a bowl of cereal.’

11. ‘I’m wearing a winter coat and a short-shorts because I need to dress both for the tundra outside and the sauna inside the tube.’

[Giphy]

12. ‘I still don’t know why I started queuing… I saw a man with a beard and a small dog and thought it must be something cool.’

13. ‘I wear these non-prescription glasses because I live in Shoreditch.’

14. ‘I wear this jacket because I live in Camden.’

15. ‘I’m not rude, I just don’t want to hear about how cheap your rent is in Glasgow.’

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16. ‘I’m not unfriendly, I just don’t want to talk to you right now… Stranger On The Tube.’

17. ‘I would love to come for lunch, but I have to go to my co-workers improv show.’

18. ‘So we have to order in tonight, I have a promo code for Uber Eats that needs to be used.’

19. ‘Going to have to miss our 9pm dinner, my boss wants me to work late.’

20. ‘No no I did want to come.. but I would have had to change 4 times on the tube so obviously it wouldn’t have worked.’

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21. ‘Sorry I’m late, I got swept along in a parade…’

Feature Image: [flickr: Tim Morris]

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