28 Trials And Tribulations Of A Londoner With No New Year’s Eve Plans

Georgie Jones Georgie Jones

28 Trials And Tribulations Of A Londoner With No New Year’s Eve Plans

It’s New Year’s Eve. The big one. The night everyone else, except for you, has been waiting for. Surprise, surprise – you have no plans.

You vaguely remember someone asking you (back in November) what you were doing and whether you wanted to buy tickets for £50 to some half-decent Jazz bar’s Lego-themed (for no obvious reason) party. You politely declined / still haven’t ‘read’ the Whatsapp message. But now it’s the big day and you kind of regret it…

1. You can’t even decide if you actually want to go out.

not things

2. You have an inkling you should, because it’s New Year’s Eve, after all.

almost care

3. But you really don’t want to commit to anything.

4. Nor do any of your friends, who still ‘aren’t sure’ what they’re doing.

5. And by now, your group chat has accumulated over 50 unread messages of them all half-heartedly trying to figure out something to do.

6. Apparently, no one’s that fussed, claiming it’s always better to keep things spontaneous…

7. Although you know that everyone secretly has their own agendas/preferences.

8. And spontaneity in London is always a bad move.


9. As everything good is inevitably booked.

10. There’s talk of going to Becky’s boyfriends, friend’s, sister’s house party.

11. In Upminster.

12. Amongst other appalling suggestions…

13. …like Infernos.

14. Which is probably more appealing than Upminster.

At least you know there will be boogying…

15. But all of the plans involve spending hideous amounts of money… because, London.

16. People keep saying ‘but it’s New Year’s Eve‘, as if this is going to excite you.

17. You wish it would excite you.


18. Because you’re not going to get that sought-after midnight kiss if you stay in.

19. Tonight could, after all, be the night you meet the love of your life.

20. Although you have absolutely no outfit sorted.

21. And you can’t be bothered to be hungover for New Year’s Day.

22. You thought New Year’s Day was the new New Year’s Eve anyway?!?

23. Although you have no intention of going out tomorrow either…

24. Just when you come to the conclusion that you’re staying in, you get the itch.


25. And you end up inviting your unorganised friends around your tiny flat, because you’re still too lazy to move.

26. They also invite their unorganised friends.

who are you

27. It turns out there are a lot of unorganised people on New Year’s Eve…

28. So you end up surrounded by people, all squeezed in your flat, watching Big Ben on your little screen and sleeping on the sofa, because someone (some-two or some-three) have otherwise occupied your bed.

Happy New Year!!


Things To Do