Whenever us Londoners dare to venture out of the capital, we’re often faced with some rather shocking surprises. Welcome to a land where pubs close well before midnight, buses run hourly, and people actually talk to each other on public transport. It’s best to be prepared for these sorts of occurrences, so, here are 19 thoughts you’re bound to have whenever you leave the mother ship…
1. Half an hour until the next bus?!
2. … And as if I just had to look up the bus times on a printed timetable.
3. I can’t believe that there isn’t a Pret in this town!
4. Seriously, where am I supposed to pick up my ‘protein pot’?
5. What do you mean you don’t have contactless?
6. Wait, you don’t take card at all?
7. Why is this bar/pub/club so empty?
8. Is it being a Thursday night not a good enough reason to go for a drink here?
9. £3 for a double vodka coke? I think you must be mistaken…
10. Oh my God, I don’t even need to pre-drink – it’s so cheap!
11. What do you mean you don’t serve cocktails?
12. Not even a mojito?
13. Why won’t it stop raining?
14. You thought London was bad? This rain makes London look like the South of France!
15. Why are you talking to me?
16. I thought the train was a place of revered silence, not a social club!
17. You’re closing? At 9pm?! Really?
18. And you’re the only place to get a drink within a five mile radius… Of course.
19. When’s the next train home?
Feature Image: David Dibert