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19 Things That Would Happen If James Bond Was A London Hipster

Lucy Bloxham Lucy Bloxham

19 Things That Would Happen If James Bond Was A London Hipster

With the impending release of the new James Bond, Spectre on Monday 26th October (eek!) we thought it best to channel our excitement into some form of a creative venture. While we love that the Bond films show London at its best, we thought it would be interesting to shake things up a little (see what we did there?) You know, make him a little more accessible to the lowly likes of us so that perhaps one day, our dreams of becoming a Bond Girl could finally come true…

 

1. He would drink Aperol Spritz instead of Martini.

2. Or he would be teetotal and only drink Matcha green tea. 

3. He would drive an old banger instead of an Aston Martin.

mr-bean-21
Try and catch me now Goldfinger! [GadgetShowPrizes]

4. His excuse for being a ladies man would be that ‘free love’ is conducive to a ‘free mind’. 

5. His x-ray glasses wouldn’t work as they wouldn’t have any lenses in them.

6. Neither would his laser pens because he would most likely be using a quill of some sort.

7. And he’d always be late because his watch would resemble something like this.

enhanced-18225-1418135064-14
[BuzzFeed]

8. ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ would have to be renamed as ‘Ethically Sourced Gemstones Are Forever’.

9. ‘M’ and ‘Q’ would be the coolest characters, purely because of the abbreviated names. Not that they aren’t already…

10. ‘James Bond’ wouldn’t cut it – in fact, the whole ‘Bond, James Bond’ would have to be scrapped as he wouldn’t dare associate himself with anything as common as a name.

[Giphy]

11. This could possibly make him the best spy of all.

12. Or the worst. 

13. He would never actually succeed at any of his missions because he wouldn’t know how to use a computer.

wishaw_2378039k
Just gonna stand back here and pretend I know what he’s talking about… [Telegraph]

14. But give him a typewriter and he’s your guy.

15. The baddies would all puff on something like this.

enhanced-26049-1418140535-12
[BuzzFeed]

16. He would refuse to shoot anyone.

17. And would be more concerned with rescuing all the animals in captivity than any of the stolen files/jewels/girls.

18. ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ would never have been made as Hipster Bond lives only in the ‘now’. It’s what his yoga and meditation teacher told him to do.

[Giphy]

19. And he would refute the title ‘The World Is Not Enough’ because the world is always enough and life is what you make of it guys. Again, what his yoga teacher told him.

die_another_day_23
Pierce was definitely onto something here with this look. [Den Of Geek]

What else do you think would make a Hipster Bond?

Featured Image Credit: For Your Eyes Only Book

Tags: funny
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