London is a whole different world, especially if you’re coming from somewhere up north. You may have visited the capital a few times in your life but nothing can ever prepare you for the big move. London has a certain etiquette, a certain je ne sais quoi. You’re bound to make mistakes—hey, we all do—but we promise you’ll get the hang of it pretty fast.
1. You’ll definitely pronounce Holborn wrong.
2. And Marylebone.
3. You’ll work up a sweat running for the tube.
Chill Winston, another one will come along in a minute — literally.
4. You’ll think you can afford a gym membership.
5. You’ll hail a black cab.
We have this thing called Uber, you know.
6. You’ll press this button to open the doors on the tube…
7. You’ll go for drinks in Leicester Square or Piccadilly Circus.
But will soon see the error of your ways.
8. You’ll try and walk home after a night out…
It might have worked when you were at uni or at home, but it ain’t gunna work here.
9. You’ll feel the need to be more trendy, so you’ll start shopping in Urban Outfitters…
10. You’ll think that, now you’re a big city dweller with a proper adult job, you’ll be able to actually save some money.
Ha! Next joke…
11. You’ll wait until you’re at the barrier before finding your Oyster card.
12. You’ll think that Oxford Street is a good place to go shopping.
13. You’ll go out for dinner every night.
…but soon realise that you absolutely cannot afford that life.
14. You’ll confuse Tower Bridge and London Bridge.
THIS is Tower Bridge.
15. You’ll eat at chain restaurants all the time.
You might think it’s great that there’s a Nando’s and a Pizza Express down the road, but give the independent ones a go.
16. Same goes for coffee shops.
There’s more to London than Starbucks and Pret. Seriously.
17. You might think that you’ll actually be able to leave the office at 5pm.
18. You’ll get the tube when walking would be waaaay quicker.
People who get the tube from Covent Garden to Leicester Square are the worst kind of people. But you’ll soon learn that.
19. But the biggest mistake of all is thinking that you can’t hack the London lifestyle.
Because you absolutely can. You’ll get used to it, we promise. And you’ll soon forget that you’re skint as hell*
*Okay, we lied, you never forget. But it does get much easier, and you’re certainly not alone.
(Feature image: Flickr/Dun.can)