Have you ever stopped to think that maybe us Londoners are all a bit weird? Put us in another country, or even another city, and people would think we were mad…
1. We fear eye contact.
Nobody looks at each other on public transport. It’s the norm for us, but elsewhere people even speak to each other sometimes.
2. We don’t think twice about spending £6 on a pint.
3. Or £3 on a coffee.
4. We freak out when we have to wait 3 minutes for a tube.
5. We’ll quite happily live with 7 other people in a flat made for 2.
6. We’ll pay £11.50 for crisps.
7. Or £4.50 for a bowl of cereal.
8. We’ll apologise for anything and everything.
If someone bashes into us, we’ll apologise. Where’s the sense in that?
9. We get unacceptably drunk before lunchtime on a standard weekend.
We have an incredible selection of bottomless brunches. And of course we rinse them for all they are worth. (Okay, perhaps that’s not so much weird as opportunist).
10. We flee to the nearest beer garden at the first sight of sunshine.
It may only be 12°C… but sunshine!
11. We eat so much avocado that restaurants are actually starting to ban it.
Avocado on toast, avocado smoothies, avocado burger buns… it’s avocado overkill. Or is it?
12. We get irrationally angry.
If someone is standing on the left of the escalator or, God forbid, walking slowly…. we’ll be absolutely seething with anger. But if we really think about it, is it that big of a deal?
13. We queue. For everything.
Even if we don’t know what we’re queueing for, we’ll still stand in line and trust that our fellow queuers are queueing for a worthy reason.
14. But chances are it’s probably bagels.
Because we love to queue for bagels. Especially on Brick Lane. And especially if they’re the colour of rainbows.
15. Whatever it’s for, we’re strangely good at it.
16. We’ll fall into a state of despair when we can’t connect to the Wifi at every Underground station we stop at.
We ought to chill out. We’ll only have missed another sh*tty article about Brexit, Theresa May’s trousers or the announcement of another tube strike…
17. We’ll try and squeeze onto a packed tube carriage when another one will literally be there in less than 30 seconds.
18. And lastly, we don’t stop to appreciate the magnificence of this city enough.
And that’s pretty weird. Because, let’s face it, it’s pretty darn great.
Feature Image: Flickr/gingerbeardman