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17 Times We Almost Screamed ‘I’M A LONDONER, GET ME OUTTA HERE!’

Georgie Jones Georgie Jones

17 Times We Almost Screamed ‘I’M A LONDONER, GET ME OUTTA HERE!’

Living in London can be tough – one long and painful ‘Bushtucker trial’, if you will. At times we long for someone to fly a helicopter over and crane-lift us the hell outta here. These, my fellow Londoners, are those times…

 

1. When there’s no food in camp (your fridge), because you’re 4 days from pay day and are living off back-up tinned beans. For the sake of worst-case-scenario, they also went off in 2014. 

im-a-londoner
[Giphy]

2. You’ve realise you’ve wasted all your money at Spitalfields/Camden/Borough Market in your lunch break and are now starving yourself this week.

im-a-londoner
[ITV]

3. It’s probably for the best though. Last week you had some dodgy chicken in Camden and it felt like you were tackling a Bushtucker task just to get it down.

chocke
[But you paid for it. So it must be eaten… ITV]

4. When the Northern Line is rammed with unwanted carriage companions.

im-a-londoner
[ITV]

5. And you’re constantly battling London’s wildlife.

pigeon
[Giphy]

6. Or tourists…

outta wway
[Giphy]

7. The journey down Oxford Street is a whole Bushtucker trial in itself.

 

8. You realise you’ll never actually be Queen (or King) of the jungle.

quuen
[Millenium]

9. But, you can actually eat testicles in London. At a Turkish restaurant aptly named Testi.

gross
[Giphy]

10. As a Londoner, you have one ‘luxury item’ and that is your monthly Oyster card. That thing is precious.

precious
[Giphy]

11. When you lose said luxury item… at the beginning of the month… and it’s not registered.

im-a-londoner
[Giphy]

12. Much like the celebs, you don’t really have time to shave. Between working, watching every new Netflix series and avoiding the gym, that is.

im-a-londoner
[ITV]

 

13. Unlike the ‘celebs’, we don’t have Medic Bob standing by to help us with our injuries. We just have a 3-hour long queue at the GP surgery.

im-a-londoner
[Twitter]

14. Sometimes, when you supposedly live in a ’24 hour city’ but you can’t get the food you want when you get the munchies at 4am,  it’s hard to not think the world isn’t against you.

im-a-londoner
[Giphy]

15. And then you try the latest hipser-foodie-craze & realise it’s just turd-flavoured hemp.

im-a-londoner
[You’ll see Gemma’s pate pop up in Shoreditch in no time… ITV]

16. When you realise that your flat costs nearly all your month’s salary in rent, only has enough room for a hammock and, on top of that, you have to share with a bunch of crazy strangers who are all in the same hideous boat as yourself.

 

17. Another bushtucker trial: walking through Bank station.

maze
[Giphy]
 

But stay strong Londoners – there’s hope yet…

im-a-londoner
[ITV]
You might. But probably won’t

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