No, we don’t think that the whole world revolves around the capital and those of us in it (well, we try not to anyway ?), but there are some things that non-Londoners will just never understand. Like the feeling of tremendous yet utterly trivial triumph upon just catching the closing doors of the tube, or the fundamental seriousness and gravity of someone standing on the left…
1. Living in constant fear of the pigeon apocalypse.
2. Getting stuck behind slow walking tourists everywhere. And hating yourself/feeling important when you get annoyed about it.
3. Always coming out of the least convenient exit at less-known tube stations and it being really, really upsetting.
4. Especially if you’re at Elephant and Castle or Piccadilly Circus and quite literally have to cross Middle-earth to get to the right place.
5. Not being able to just ‘pop’ home for lunch – getting there takes twice the amount of lunch break available and an hour’s salary.
6. Having to establish a very particular walking style to change at Bank with.
7. Not knowing whether that lady on the tube standing up is pregnant or not.
8. “Is she, isn’t she, is she, isn’t she? I JUST CAN’T TELL. Could be a very impressive food baby. Or a real one. Oh god.”
9. Giving up your seat.
10. And it turning out she’s not.
11. Falling asleep on the night bus and waking up in the middle of f*cking nowhere.
12. Or worse, back where you started.
13. Having a false sense of security that London is so big you’ll never bump into that ex/ex boss/ex friend/ex roommate…
14. And doing so at the worst possible time.
15. Viewing flats that look like former prisons (if you’re lucky) and having to give up all your money, body and possessions to be able to afford the rent.
16. Living in an empty room for £1000/month because you sold all your possessions to get it.
17. Constantly complaining about London but never leaving because, well, it’s London!
Featured Image Credit: The Loop