Life is tough enough as it is, but living in London adds that little extra je ne sais quoi to our daily oh-so-troublesome lives. In our defence against accusations of being melodramatic, it is (or rather, should be) scientifically proven that issues tend to be magnified when squished up against some random man’s genitalia in a searing hot tube carriage at 7:30am on a Monday morning, knowing that you’ve still got an hour left of your commute left. Trust us. And here are the problems that every. single. one. of you will encounter. At least it’s nice to know that you’re not alone…
1. Having to break into a light jog just to avoid walking side by side with a stranger.
2. Hearing people time and time and time again complain about expensive it is. And having to practice zen-level self-restraint.
3. Using up all your best chat 4 minutes into a trendy haircut in Shoreditch.
4. Having to wait 3 minutes for a tube. WTF.
5. Not knowing what to do with yourself someone says “make yourself at home”.
6. Pole leaners.
7. Having to put on an Oscar-winning performance in an attempt to persuade the bus driver that you really didn’t know that you had minus money on your Oyster…
9. Someone really stinky sitting next to you on the tube when the rest of the carriage is empty. And not being able to move because you’re from London. And that would be awks.
10. Having too many weekend activity options. But not having enough money to do any of them.
11. The chaos that exudes from changing at Bank.
12. Not knowing if someone is preggaz or just had a really big pie for lunch.
13. Feeling slightly superior to all your non-London friends.
14. But in reality being quite the opposite because you’re far more skint, lonely and unhealthy than all of them put together.
15. Hipsters. And the fads they bring with them.
16. Spotting a workmate on the tube and having to get off one stop early.
17. Trying. To go. Anywhere.
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