With Paramount London planning to open as a theme park in 2021 (ahhhhh!!), we got thinking about what London would be like if it was one crazy, huge, incredible yet totally dysfunctional playground…
1. This year, London will be home to the world’s longest & tallest slide at the ArcelorMittal Orbit.
2. Like Disneyland, our realm sprawls far and wide…
3. And we have places that will give Fantasyland a run for its money…
4. …And the fantasy is ever-expanding. Check Out The Fantasy Garden Bridge that’s undergoing planning.
5. We have our own REAL palace. Take THAT Disney!
6. The City is our shiny Futureland. (Also a villainous world of bankers…)
7. And it’s about to get a lot more futuristic this year with these driverless cars…
8. Waterworld comes in the form of the meandering Thames…
9. We have more wonderful, unique creatures in Animal-land…
10. London’s already got a kick-ass ferris wheel.
11. And once the Underground cranks up its speed, we’ll have some seriously insane rollercoasters.
13. But, like most rides, they come with plenty of technical issues…
13. Which means they’ll be a LOT of waiting in queues.
14. Good job we’re used to it…
15. There’s no point trying to ‘swipe’ your way ahead with Londonland’s ‘fast-pass’, because EVERYONE has them…
16. The theme park has its own array of characters, mascots and villains.
17. Londonland’s endless food vendors are ready to provide ‘wholesome’ pre-ride food – alongside jolly jingles…
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18. We have a golden Cinderella-worthy carriage we whip out for parades…
20. But, despite it all, Londonland is still an exciting and magical place to be.
