Imagine being drenched in sweat, barely awake and nestled in between two sticky business men. No this isn’t the start of Secret London’s erotic novel career, this is just a normal Monday morning ride along the Central Line. Which means you probably don’t need to imagine it and you’ll totally be able to relate to these other horrific moments.
1. The anger you feel when someone shouts ‘MOVE DOWN THE CARRIAGE’ but there is only an inch between you and the person you’re supposed to move closer to…
2. When you realise that your adorable smile at that baby is actually pretty creepy and now you’re getting weird looks from the mother.
3. The terribly awkward moment of accidentally touching someone else’s hand on the central bar and then wondering if this means you have to marry them.
4. When someone in need of a seat gets on and you enter a silent 0.5 second battle with other commuters refusing to give up theirs.
5. Or when you don’t spot the older person in time to give your seat up and now everyone thinks you’re an arsehole.
6. When you simply can’t push yourself into the glass panel anymore and so actually have to get out of the carriage let others off.
7. But then you’re dangerously close to those trying to get on and must assert that ‘I deserve as space as I was already on here!’ attitude.
8. The annoyance caused by a waiting time of anything above 3 minutes for the next train.
9. Trying to hide your disgusted face as someone forgets to finish their personal grooming at home, i.e. clipping their toe nails.
10. When some audacious bastard has their feet on the seats on a busy tube.
11. Encountering drunken hen parties.
12. Encountering drunken stag parties.
13. People who dare to stand on the left.
14. Having to resist the urge to push past someone who doesn’t have their Oyster card ready by the time they arrive at the gates.
15. The horrible moment your ears are insulted by a busker loudly playing the bagpipes at 7am at Waterloo station.
16. Reading yet another article about the annoyance of the tube but still feeling like no one can truly understand your commuting pain.
Feature Image: Flickr / christopher_brown