The long awaited Night Tube is due to kickoff on Friday and we’re all preparing for our lives to change forever. Sadiq Khan reckons the launch of the 24 hour service will be the start of an exciting new chapter in London’s life. It’ll boost the economy, help night shifters get to and from work and will support almost 2,000 jobs. For us, it just means we can drink for a bit longer in the evenings…
1. It means the excuse “I can’t stay long, I have to catch the last tube” is no longer valid.
2. The drunkards will be spread across the night bus and the night tube. Or they’ll just be more drunkards.
3. Of course it won’t change at all if you live along the District or Metropolitan line (or any of the other lines that aren’t joining in…)
4. There’s going to be extra police officers patrolling the stations, meaning there will be at least the same amount of police on duty during the night as during the day. Sadiq Khan reckons this will help us feel safer and “more confident” while travelling at night…
5. It means that Uber Pool will only be the second cheapest way to travel home after a night out…
6. It will still cost an absolute fortune of course, because, well, it’s London…
7. We now won’t be able to check what time we got in by looking at our Uber receipts…
8. So we’ll have to judge it by what time we sent texts like these instead…
9. We will also really miss the deep and philosophical chats with our taxi drivers.
10. That said, there will be plenty of opportunities for tipsy conversations on the tube…
11. And your new best friends won’t be limited to the ones you meet in the toilets at nightclubs…
12. You’ll stop checking the clock every thirty seconds in the worry that you might miss the last tube, and may end up accidentally staying out after midnight on a school night…
13. And you may also end up waking up in some rather exotic places…
14. ….more than once in the same night.
