17 Necessary Life Skills Every Londoner Has Obviously Mastered

You sure learn a thing or two living in this city – it’s a tough cookie to crack. But once you’ve got the hang of whipping your Oyster card out in record time, while juggling your coffee, a copy of the Metro, your laptop case, your gym bag and a tiny dog, you know you’re winning at London life. *High five*


1. You’ve perfected your *fuck off* smile at street chuggers.

[Friendly(ish) but firm. You’re a great person.]

2. You know to hold your breath for the entire duration of Farringdon Street. (And this is why, for those who don’t.)


3. Of course, you know exactly where the tube doors will stop.

[There, there aaaaand there.]

4. You’re guaranteed to get anywhere 5 minutes faster than CityMapper suggests.

[As if, CityMapper. You ain’t no dawdler.]

5. You’ve mastered how to dodge being handed a CityAM as you arrive at the tube station.

6. You’ve perfected your ‘hungry’ face to get free tasters at Camden market.



7. You’ve mastered the skill to leave umbrellas everywhere… On the tube, at work, at the supermarket checkout. There’s basically a trail of forgotten umbrellas in your wake.

8. You’re great at making tiny spaces seem appealing…

[You can drink from the tap and pee at the same time… Genius!]

9. And you can shoo and dodge pigeons like a ninja.


10. You’ve reduced the time it takes to top-up your Oyster to under 10 seconds (that damn card reader is the only thing slowing you down).

11. You know how to strip off on the tube when it gets too hot without smacking people in the face.


12. You’ve developed invisible limbs and can miraculously carry your laptop, coffee, handbag without spilling too much.

13. Your legs can totally handle all 193 steps at Covent Garden tube station.

cat stai


14. You’ve even developed a two-step stride.

15. You’ve miraculously been able to curb your hatred for tourists. Just enough so you don’t barge them out of the way on the pavement.


16. You’ve picked up some valuable mantras to help you get by on a daily basis.


17. And, lastly, you’ve managed to stay in love with this crazy city, despite its oddities and frustrations.

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