When you break down in front of Mr Deliveroo Man following the question ‘how has your day been’, you know it’s time for a break. Delays, inconsiderate tube doors, rushing, backpacks and angry cyclists can really take their toll. And all while being rinsed of every penny you work tirelessly for? Well, there’s one reason why Londoners Need To Give Themselves A Break!
1. You are in a perpetual state of FOMO because there is always something fun going on.
2. But tiring London life means that weekends are for sleeping and eating your body weight in takeaway.
3. NOT for activities.
4. Public transport is shitty shit shit. Shit.
5. As are fellow commuters.
6. Resulting in your blood pressure skyrocketing before you’ve even got half way through your 25 *45* minute journey to work. Think Mentos in Pepsi.
7. We repeat: BEFORE you’ve got to work.
8. The process of flat hunting/house sharing has removed all joy from your life.
9. Capitalism. On steroids.
10. Dolly Parton is redundant in that Londoners do not, and have never, or ever will, merely worked 9-5.
11. The concept of making emotional connections with new and interesting people, or for that matter people full stop, is replaced by lonely right-swiping on Tinder.
12. You leave for work early and get there late. Through no fault of your own. Unless your name is TfL.
13. A good nights sleep is just anytime you aren’t woken by foxes having sex/your flatmates coming in drunk/you wake up not feeling completely and utterly exhausted.
14. £4.50 for a pint is beginning to look like a good price.
15. And you end up drinking even on nights you actually wanted to go home.
16. The statement ‘you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’ scares the bejesus out of you because that consists of ‘boss, cat, colleague, boss, cat’.
17. Rush hour is such a hell-hole-ish nightmare that you can’t even reach your phone to skip a song.
18. Accidentally walking 7 miles is day-to-day practice.
19. So is battling with an ever-changing love-hate relationship with this goddam great city.
Featured Image Credit: TheJC