13 Things Every Londoner Wishes They Could Say Out Loud

Of course we could say these things out loud, but a) we’re far too polite, and b) we’d probably get a slap. We’re a passive aggressive lot, and we’d sooner dig an elbow into a fellow commuter and make it look like an accident than confront the issue head on. You know, with words...

 

1. Move out of my f*cking way!

move-out-way
[Giphy]
2. For heaven’s sake, would it pain you to walk a bit faster?

3. What compelled you to put that outfit on this morning?

ugh-outfit-disapprove-clothes
[PopKey]
4. Move your bag off that seat, you selfish b*****d.

5. No, I really don’t want to stop and talk to you. And no, you cannot have a minute of my time. 

nope-london-funny-compressor
[Giphy]
6. Excuse me, your gross sweaty back is in my face.

7. Are you really stopping right there? Right in everybody’s way?

oh-for-fucks-sake-gif
[We Know Memes]
8. Here, take my seat because I’m a far more selfless and thoughtful person than everyone else on this tube.

9. Oi, no! I saw her first! That’s not fair, now I look selfish and thoughtless. 

not-fair-funny
[ReactionGIFs]
10. Will you please stop reading over my shoulder?

11. I’m finding this whole London thing really hard. 

london-life-hard
[Giphy]
12. Excuse me, sorry, could you please turn your music down? It’s a real pain in the arse and it must really be damaging your ears.

13. Do you know what? No, I won’t move down the carriage. I need to get off at the next stop and it’s a huge inconvenience. 

piss-off-gordon-ramsey
[Tenor]

Feature Image: @cgiorgi / OFFICIAL LEWEB PHOTOS 

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