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12 Ways The Pigeons In London Are Ruining Your Life

Lucie Turner Lucie Turner

12 Ways The Pigeons In London Are Ruining Your Life

Nothing gets us riled up like a good pigeon. Truly the vermin of the sky, the pigeons in London are, in a word, VILE. Why do these scabby bastards rapidly multiply over the summer too, leaving trails of slimy green faeces and anger in their wake? I’m not saying they should all rot in pigeon hell but tbh I wouldn’t feel so bad if some of our canal terrapins did more of this kind of action and less riding of dead foxes down the water (yup this actually happened).

 

 

1. Because they poo.

 

2. Everywhere.

 

3. EVERYWHERE.

 

4. Because they have no disregard for who they poo on either.

 

5. And because someone is selling a pigeon poo brooch for £2,500.
[TimeOut]

 

6. Because they congregate in the most inconvenient of places.

 

 

7. Because eating lunch outside becomes something of a disaster zone.

 

8. And because it’s illegal to eat one (not that we ever would…)

 

9. Because when you’re alone they can seem quite threatening.

 

10. Because whilst this isn’t real, we sometimes, sometimes wish it was.

 

11. Because this conundrum has pickled us a few times.

 

12. And because most importantly, they just don’t care.

[Picture credit: Isobel Kho]
Well this might just be the most angry post we’ve ever written. Wow. Sort of judging ourselves slightly. But when this image is haunting your dreams every night:

 

 

Can you see why all we want to do is this???

 

 

(Yes that is a tiny hat glued onto a pigeons head.)

 

 

Tags: funny, list, pigeons