12 Passive Aggressive Phrases That Make All Londoners Shudder

The British aren’t exactly known to be a confrontation lot. In fact, our ability to repress our true feelings whilst hiding our social anxiety and pretending everything in tip-top-hunky-dory makes us famous across the world! Whether it’s pretending we love our awful new haircut or not having the balls to tell our boss we can’t work Saturdays, any time conflict arises all we seem to muster is a passive aggressive comment.  The same, so it seems, can be said for Londoners! Here are the top 12 passive aggressive phrases all Londoners can recognise and are, quite frankly, bloody sick of hearing… not that we mind or anything!

 

1. ‘Can you move down the carriage PLEASE.’

The ‘please’ makes you think he’s being friendly when really you know he wants to punch you squarely in the face.

2. ‘Would you mind awfully if I took the seat next to you?’

This translates more or less to ‘Why the fucking fuck are you sitting on the aisle seat and blocking the window seat so no one else can sit down?!?!?’

3. *walks into unknown location* ‘Can I help you?’

‘What are you doing here? Piss off.’

4. ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you’ve never tried a Salmon Rainbow Bagel!’

‘I am much cooler and more cultured than you are.’

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5. ‘I really try to cycle everywhere… better for the environment you know!’

This person is seriously judging you and your regular Uber habits.

6. ‘I’m sorry!’ *as they bump into you knocking you out the way*

But you’re not ~really~ sorry are you!?

7. ‘Sorry but there’s no outside food allowed in the bar.’

Okay yeah, so we know this isn’t allowed but you’re trying to charge me £1.75 for a packet of Cheese and Onion Walkers!!

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8. ‘Please allow passengers off the train before boarding.’

Pretty sure everyone feels like shouting ‘DON’T BE A PUSHY ARSEHOLE!!!’ to the guy stepping forward and bumping past everyone to get on first.

9. ‘Wait, you seriously enjoy going to Covent Garden?!’

We know it’s touristy but it’s really pretty, okay guys?!

10. ‘Please use the full length of the platform.’

And can the big group of people stop clustering RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE?!!

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11. ‘It’s your round, isn’t it mate?’

‘Buy me a drink. Now.’

12. ‘I never go to Weatherspoons! They’re so tacky!’

‘I have lots and lots of money.’

Feature Image: [tubesign]

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