We have a lot to be thankful for as Londoners, but with great power, comes great responsibility, so it’s no wonder we all get asked a lot of questions about our city. While we might laugh off the awkward advances initially, there comes a point when our patience starts to wear a little thin. So, here are 12 questions we’ve all been asked that have started to become a little annoying…
1. I bet you go out all the time, don’t you?
Of course. I can easily afford £20 club entry and multiple £10 vodka cokes every night! It’s not like I have bills or a job or food shopping to worry about, right?
2. Have you ever met the queen?
I certainly have! We run into each other down the local all the time.
3. When are you going to stop renting?
When I win the lottery.
4. Can I stay at yours?
My tiny flat is NOT A HOTEL.
5. When are you going to give me a tour of the city?
As a matter of fact I’m free right now and, as it happens, I’m a semi-professional tour guide! Let me just grab my big red umbrella and my wireless microphone…
6. Why don’t you move to [insert any city in the North of England here]? It’s so much cheaper!
I really can’t even justify this one with an answer.
7. But, don’t you miss the peace and quiet?
Not as much as I’d miss West End theatre.
8. Have you hung out with loads of celebrities?
Oh yeah, Kate Moss and I are best mates. She came round the other day to paint my nails and listen to One Direction!
9. Do you live near [insert any extremely famous London landmark here]?
Really? Do I look like a multimillionaire? I’m actually kind of flattered.
10. Aren’t you afraid of terrorism?
One word: no. #WeAreNotAfraid
11. How do you stand it being so busy all the time?
You know, sometimes I have to curl up into a ball and cry just to cope with the sheer number of people there are everywhere. It’s a very frightening place.
12. When are you going to leave?
Feature image: Tristan Legros