“If lying was a crime, we’d all be in jail” (Pretty Little Liars, 2011). Preach it, sister. If you say you’ve never lied, you’re a liar. Which means you’d be lying about not lying, which is a lie so that makes you a liar. Have we lost you yet? The point is, we all lie. A lot. But it’s not that bad, as we mostly just lie to ourselves. Often to make us feel better about the price we’re paying for a drink, or the bad and irresponsible things that we’re about to do (like drinking lots of expensive alcohol). Us London lot are pretty good at kidding ourselves…
1. “£8.50? That’s decent for a cocktail…”
2. “I can probably get to [insert place on the opposite side of London] in about half an hour…”
3. “I’ll definitely start cooking for myself soon…”
4. “I need a coffee…”
5. “I need a coffee so badly that it is absolutely justifiable to pay £3.50 for it…”
6. “I’ll stay for just one drink…”
7. “I’ll probably be okay without an umbrella today…”
8. “I hate all these pretentious pop-ups…” (*oooh look, a gin terrace, we have to go*)
9. “I can probably do a night out on about 30 quid…”
10. “I totally know the way…” (*opens City Mapper*)
Feature Image: Geek & Sundry