One Direction star and solo artist Harry Styles played a surprise gig at The Garage in Highbury last night, to an audience of ecstatic phones.
Details of the show were only revealed at 8am that morning, forcing smartphones across London to race their respective humans to the 600-capacity venue in order to purchase a £10 ticket in person.
Clad in a hot pink silk suit, Styles’ set wowed a room of iPhones, Galaxies and Xperias as their long-suffering owners sweated and swayed diligently beneath.
One iPhone described the night as ‘the moment I was made for’, while a Samsung phone said they were so happy they ‘could explode.’
Harry performed a clutch of songs from his self-titled debut album, opening with ‘Ever Since New York’ and finishing with the six-minute lead single ‘Sign Of The Times.’ Along the way, he covered One Directions ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ and Kanye West’s ‘Ultralight Beam.’
The phones’ humanoid assistants expressed satisfaction with a job well done, and said they looked forward to finding out more about the concert when they reviewed the footage later on.
(Secret London would like to thank everyone who filmed the gig on their phone without whom this article would not be possible.)