God knows how we ever survived in the first place. Actually we do. It starts with A- and ends with -lcohol. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ha.
1. You’re just so clean. I mean you wash yourself but you actually stay clean.
2. And your clothes stay clean.
3. Your shoes stay clean.
4. EVERYTHING STAYS CLEAN.
5. You might feel slightly superior because you’re from ‘Landan’
6. But quickly realise no one gives a shit.
7. Public transport is actually, wait for it, worse outside London.
8. Like waaaaaaaaaay worse.
9. Like you’re waiting an hour for the number 7 and two literally show up at once.
10. But it’s so cheap you don’t care.
11. And taxis are cheaper too.
12. You start to realise everyone is SO protective over where they live.
13. And they all think it’s better than London.
14. (And sometimes you do too).
15. But sometimes you wonder if you should really have left.
16. But then you laugh into your 3 bed house with humongous garden all for under £600 a month.
17. You discover Aldi is the go-to shop for those in the know.
18. Yeah really.
19. And you shriek when you realise Boots meal deal is a whole 50p cheaper outside London (!!!)
20. Wednesday hangovers are frowned upon.
21. Ditto Tuesday.
22. Ditto Thursday.
23. Shops close early. Everyday.
24. Also forget about Sunday.
25. Unless you want to go to TK Maxx.
26. Your neighbours bring you things sometimes.
27. Nice things like wine and Homeland boxsets.
28. TV becomes something of An Event.
29. People have ‘Bake Off Night’, ‘Strictly Saturdays’, ‘Poldark Parties’.
30. You secretly really enjoy them.
31. Snow days can be fun rather than ferocious.
32. And you lie in for longer at the weekend since there’s nowhere to be.
33. You can actually drive.
34. But you’re constantly worried people can tell you’re a “London driver”.
35. The phone signal *sighs*. Goodbye full bars…
36. You realise half the apps on your phone are rendered useless.
37. But your Netflix subscription is used just as much.
38. Cooking for yourself is like when you cooked at uni for the first time.
39. There’s a lot of trial and error and sometimes you forget you were cooking in the first place.
40. Also you’ll start baking again.
41. Regardless of if you’re any good.
42. Because you can’t get Nutella Cronuts anymore.
43. Especially at 7 o’clock on a Monday.
44. You find out old people still exist?!
45. I mean you know they do because of your parents/grandparents, but you see so many more??
47. More like LESSCONTACT. Amirite??
48. Seriously, just carry cash.
49. You learn that you complained A LOT in London.
50. And was there really any reason to?
51. Lol ok, yes there was.
52. But seriously cynicism is so passé.
53. Consequently smiling feels very weird on your face.
54. People might give you odd looks since it looks more like a grimace.
55. But you’re so happy you don’t really care.
56. Moving away is a good idea, even if it’s just for a bit…
57. Because London will always be here to welcome you back.
Feature Image: Flickr/Jessica C