Devilishly Delicious: 10 Of London’s Most Sinfully Seductive Brownies

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I know, we’re saintly. Trying out all these badass flavours from Bad Brownie is just so kind of us. Obviously it would only make total sense for you to go out and try them all yourselves too. I mean, why take our word for it? Available at at many, many markets across London or online at www.badbrownie.co.uk, they are all totally, completely, beautifully and dangerously DELICIOUS. Now, where’s that insulin…

 

1. Salted Caramel

 

Badassness: This one is WICKED. The perfect balance between sweet and salty (I mean, it’s obviously more sweet really, but the salty-ness gives it a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’), its badassness rating is around the walking on the grass when there is a sign saying ‘Please Do Not Walk On The Grass’ mark. Really, really badass.

Who will like it: Well, anyone. In particular those outwardly appearing slightly neurotic/OCD/controlling, screaming on the inside to be roaming untamed through a forest with a neanderthal hunk who is taking you back to his lair…

Where you can find it: All markets.

 

2. Triple Chocolate

 

Badassness: Possibly the naughtiest out of the lot, this brownie is as bad (but good) as Lindsay Lohan’s film set reputation combined with Kayne West’s singing.

Who will like it: For those who believe a simple Friday night would include bathing in gold-flake bath oil before heading to a Michelin-Starred restaurant for a ‘quick bite’, followed by drinks and a night in the Dorchester because it’s far too uncouth to hail your chauffeur at this hour. The more decadent out of you so to speak. Or, you know, if you like chocolate.

Where you can find it: All markets.

 

3. Peanut Butter

 

Badassness: Pretttyyyy depraved. Sticky, tasty, yummy and so so moist (everybody’s favourite word). As nutty as Professor Klump getting arrested for the attempted robbery of a squirrel’s shopping trolley.

Who will like it: Anyone nuts about nuts. Hehe.

Where you can find it: All markets.

 

4. Bacon and Maple Syrup

Badassness: We feel like the boys over at Epic Mealtime, enjoying bacon in random places left right and centre. The salty bacon and the sweet maple syrup come together to make this brownie downright devilish.

Who will like it: Those who think nothing of putting jam in their bacon sandwiches (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it).

Where you can find it: All markets, except Brent Cross.

 

5. Ferreo Rocher

 

Badassness: We all love this Christmas chocolate fave even more than we love the advert that pops up every mid-November. Mr T wouldn’t even need to tell it GET SOME NUTS, it’s that badass.

Who will like it: The sophisticates who buy the little pyramids come the festive season. Not in the 2-4-1 special at Tescos either. Full. Price.

Where you can find it: Brent Cross.

 

6. Ginger Nut Crunch

 

Badassness: Ginger is the friend that brings Absinthe to a party. You’re not sure if he should be there, but then suddenly you hope he never leaves. In a brownie, ginger is even sicker (in the $!ck sense, not the vomit sense).

Who will like it: If you like gingerbread, nuts and brownies then DUH you’ll like this.

Where you can find it: Brent Cross, Selfridges.

 

7. Earl Grey

 

Badassness: Yo, we don’t even need to tell y’all that we love tea. We’re not picky either. Builders, Earl Grey, green, peppermint, whatever the hell oolong is….but TEA in a BROWNIE?? Are you mad?? Er, no actually, this might just be one of the greatest hybrids ever created. It’s the bergamot darling. Takes it to a serious MJ-with-studded-gloves level.

Who will like it: Those in the know, who go with the flow, who like their beats fast and their base down low.

Where you can find it: Brent Cross.

 

8. Rose, Raspberry and Pistachio

 

Badassness: So sweet and yet so, so naughty, its badassness rating is probably the equivalent of Damien from The Omen. It seems innocent, but 2 minutes in and you’re doubting anything and everything.

Who will like it: Those who like to describe themselves as a gentleman/lady in the street but a freak in the sheets. Also those who like floral scents.

Where you can find it: Brent Cross.

 

9. Mint Fondant

 

 Badassness: Ah mint. You always bring a welcome freshness wherever you go. You may be sat alongside rich, heavenly chocolate but as soon as we taste you we believe what we’re eating is as light as air. You’re not really a “badass”, you’re a “lovelyass” if that could be a thing. 

Who will like it: This is a crowd pleaser. If you’re the type (even if you’re not) to reach for an After Eight when offered, then you’ll be chuffed with this beauty. Particularly if you’d have an After Eight at quarter past 7. Naughty.

Where you can find it: Brent Cross and Selfridges.

 

10. Banoffee

Badassness: We’ve always been a bit sceptical about Banoffee, given its name and the fact that it combines fruit (which is healthy) with caramel (which is also health…ily in the lead as your teeth’s greatest enemy). But because they don’t go overboard, the banoffee here is b-e-a-utiful.

Who will like it: The avant guardians of the original ‘hybrid’ cuisines. Those who defended peanut butter KitKats and voted for ‘fish&chip’ flavour crisps in the Walkers competitions.

 

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Featured Image Credit: Harper’s Bazaar

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